12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship video


Recognizing a healthy relationship is a big concern for many women, an expert reveals if we are in a healthy relationship.

When most people are looking for a "healthy relationship," what they are really looking for is making sure they are not in an unhealthy relationship, since good relationships are a main ingredient for a happy life, and a bad one tends to be a miserable experience.

According to Stephen Snyder, a sex and relationship therapist, there are major signs of a healthy relationship. The first four are absolutely fundamental. You can think of them as the roots and trunk of a tree and we need them to be strong and secure.

The other six are a little softer. You can think of them as the branches of a tree. They have to be strong enough to hold together, but flexible enough not to break in a strong wind.


Healthy relationships are trustworthy

In a healthy relationship, you can count on the other person to do what she says she will do and to be where she says she will be. You don't have to worry about these things. If they make a commitment, you know they will keep it.

People in a healthy relationship are very calm

Most people in committed relationships need peace of mind every day. Their "love languages" are often different. Some of us need verbal reassurance, some need acts of devotion, and some just need quality time together. But whatever love language you express it in, your partner needs to know, almost daily, that your feelings for them are not going to suddenly go away.

Your partner needs to know, almost daily, that your feelings for them are not going to suddenly go away.

In a healthy relationship, both are completely real

They both have real lives: family, friends, work, and each wants the other to know everything about her life and to want to be part of it. You are not dodging, trying to prevent them from knowing secrets about you that you are ashamed of.

A healthy relationship should feel relaxed

A good relationship should be a refuge from the storm outside. You should be able to let your guard down and not have to worry. I mean, hey, life is hard. A good relationship should be a haven of concern. When they return home, they should breathe a little easier.


Space to grow in a healthy relationship.

Now let's go out to the branches. All of these relationship traits have to do with how you balance your own needs with those of the other person. Because, in fact, they are really two trees. And they both need light and space to grow.

A healthy relationship should strike a good balance between "us" and "me."

No two people in a couple fit together. There are always parts of their personalities and lifestyles that don't match. Which means that becoming a "we" is always, to some extent, an act of creativity.

One of the most important ways that couples become a "we" is as a result of making decisions together. Find out what they can and cannot commit to.

It is much better to assume that they will never exactly fit together.

Unfortunately, many couples try to force the pieces to fit together when they really don't, either by suppressing some vital part of themselves or forcing the other person to give up some vital part of themselves. Instead, it's much better to assume that you're never going to fit exactly.

In a healthy relationship, they should care about each other's feelings ... but not too much

Obviously, it is important to be interested in how your partner feels and what they think. Otherwise, you're only in it for yourself. That is narcissistic, which is not good for any relationship.

Sometimes two people in a relationship can be like a violin and a bow. Without a little friction, you are not going to make good music.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel close, but not too close

A couple may complain that they never speak. But sometimes that is because they feel that each one already knows what the other person is going to say. And it's something they don't want to hear.

Sometimes that disconnection is the result of not knowing how to really listen. Really listening to the other person means staying in your own lane. You must let the other person be a separate individual with thoughts and feelings.

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