6 Things To Say When Someone's In Pain video


  • Tell me about your pain or ailment:

Simple truth? . Well do not believe it. Most of us find it difficult to jump out of our skin and put ourselves in the shoes of another human being, even if it is that of a friend or loved one. This is because it is difficult to imagine something that has never been felt and that does not have visible symptoms such as pain . We tend to think that the symptoms are not real. All of this makes us fearful and doubt how to talk about it.

When the person hears this question, he calms down, because it shows that he is interested in it, in understanding, in understanding. Most of the time the person will want to talk about their condition, but they do not want to burden anyone with their "problems", so hearing the question will break down barriers and allow the exchange of data, feelings and opinions about pain and how it affects your life.

One word of caution: keep an open mind when listening to the answers. You are not always able to explain what it feels like and you may have questions that the person does not know or can answer.

  • Tell me how pain or ailment affects your life, in your day to day

With this question you will be able to understand more of that day to day, in what limits, what is more difficult. People want to explain how it affects their daily life and can give us a more approximate idea of ​​the consequences in their real life.

Sometimes you may find that the person does not want to talk. In those moments keep in mind that silence is also good. The person will feel comforted by your mere presence, that you are by their side. You don't need to occupy every minute of the conversation.

With these two questions you can break the ice and open a dialogue about your ailment .

  • I find it difficult to imagine pain or ailment for so long

We may be tempted to talk about a time when we had a pain from exertion or something similar and thus pretend that we know how it feels. It's not like that. A chronic pain is pain that has been sustained for more than 3 months on a constant basis.

Saying that you have a hard time imagining pain for a long time is a sincere statement and this in itself is comforting.

  • Learn the code.

There is a numerical pain scale that is used to measure the intensity of pain so that the doctor can check the effectiveness of the treatment. A scale of 1 to 10 describes the level of pain where 1 is "no pain at all" and 10 is "the worst pain you can feel." Ask the person what number on this scale their pain is.

Don't assume that the person with chronic pain doesn't feel it if they say they are fine. Many people try to hide their pain due to a lack of understanding on the part of others. When asked about their pain level, people with chronic pain may not indicate the actual level. Because their pain is chronic, they are used to a certain level of pain and may accept it as normal or as if there is no pain at all.

They may only give you the actual pain level when they feel sharp pain, when the "normal" level of pain they live with on a daily basis changes, when they experience different pain (eg "stabbing" instead of " vague, "" burning "rather than" throbbing ") or when prompted directly for current levels of acute and chronic pain.

  • I'm here if you ever need to talk

We all have bad days, regardless of whether or not we have a chronic illness. We all need a confidant or someone with whom to unleash what we feel or think. If you are willing to give that listening time it can be a great help, but bearing in mind that solutions are not needed, but only listening and comforting as necessary.

  • Offer a hug

Instead of suggesting some way to ease her pain, consider being empathetic and giving her a gentle hug to indicate that you are available to offer support. That person already consults with countless doctors who will tell him how to fix or treat his chronic pain.

Sometimes just putting your hand on a person's shoulder can help them feel comfortable. Don't forget to be gentle and use gentle touch to help him bond with you.

  • Nothing happens if you can't ...

... Going out tonight, we meet for a coffee, or a chat, or to watch a movie at home. In addition to pain and physical discomfort, people suffer when their social outings are limited, and they are not able to carry out the activities they used to do.

If the person rejects or cancels an invitation, do not think that it is nothing personal, or because he is lazy, he simply does not have the strength or the courage for it that day. Hearing the words "nothing happens" or "another day we meet" will help the person not feel guilty or bad for not coming.

  • Ask him about his next treatment.

Ask the affected person how satisfied they are with their treatment. It is important that you ask open questions about whether you think your treatment is satisfactory or whether you think your pain is bearable.

Open questions: start with why, how, what, describe me, tell me about, what do you think of ...

  • I know useful

The chronic pain sufferer relies heavily on those who are not ill for support at home or to visit when they are too ill to go out. Sometimes you will need help with shopping, cooking, cleaning, errands, or babysitting. You may also need help getting to the doctor. You can be her link to the "normal" aspects of life and help her stay in touch with the areas of life that she misses and desperately wants to return to.

Many people offer their help, but they are not really there when needed. If you offer your help, be sure to honor your offer. The person with chronic pain is counting on you.

  • Be patient

If you are impatient and want the chronic pain sufferer to "get on with their problem," you run the risk of making them feel guilty and undermining their resolve to deal with it. They probably want to comply with your requests to do something, but don't have the strength or ability to deal with it as a result of the pain.

Don't be discouraged if the person with chronic pain seems sensitive - they've been through a lot. Chronic pain wreaks havoc on both the body and the mind. These people do their best to deal with how exhausting and exasperating pain is, but they may not always be in perfect condition. Try to accept them for who they are.

Someone with chronic pain may need to cancel a pre-engagement at the last minute. If this happens, don't take it personally.

  • Look for signs of pain

Grimacing, restlessness, irritability, mood swings, sweaty hands, groaning, trouble sleeping, teeth grinding, poor concentration, decreased activities, and perhaps writing thoughts Suicidal persons can be an indicator of distress or pain.

Be understanding of what the person is going through.

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