7 Signs You Are Emotionally Mature video

03.07.2020

Emotional maturity

Emotional maturity has nothing to do with age , with the years of experience we have in life.

We all know people who are "so old" who look like little children, who make bad decisions , who are selfish or vindictive .

And other young people who exude surprising emotional intelligence for the short time they have been in this world.

In large part this maturity is given by the responsibilities that we are acquiring from childhood.

But also with the blows of life, with the experiences we live and how we manage them.

It also influences social learning, who we look at, what vital coping strategies we copy or imitate as children.

But also as adults , because even now we can (and should) take as references other people who have lived through difficult situations and have come out reinforced from them.

" Maturity is reached when I no longer have the need to blame anything or anyone for what happens to me " - Anthony de Melo

Maturity has a lot to do with self-knowledge , self- esteem and personal confidence .

Being at ease with yourself, loving yourself and knowing who you are gives you peace of mind and security that leads you to relate better to others, feel stronger and trust that whatever life brings you, you will be well. in the background.

Even if you get sad, even if you get angry, even if you feel scared. You will be safe "at home", inside you. And you know that you will know how to adapt and get the best out of each situation. So you accept what comes, you flow with life , you stop putting up resistance.

You understand that there is no greater love than your own . That there is no love out there capable of filling the inner emptiness that you feel when you do not love or respect yourself.

That it is only up to you to give yourself what you need , it is your responsibility to have a firm self-esteem and a good philosophy of life that help you resist what comes.

Emotional maturity is a gradual process of growth and requires will, that you take a proactive role, that you want to look inside yourself.

15 signs of emotional maturity

How do you know if you are advanced on this topic? Watch for these signs, which will make you see if you have good emotional maturity:

1) You know what you feel and think : which gives you greater emotional balance, you do not spend your life on a roller coaster of incomprehensible ups and downs.

You know where those feelings come from, you see them coming because you are in touch with your interior, you stop being a stranger to yourself. You see the results that your actions and words generate; you know they have an impact inside you, and out there.

So you become more responsible and respectful, you take care of what you say and choose what you keep quiet. Basically you gain more emotional intelligence .

2) You also detect other people's emotions better : you try to understand them more, to deepen their motivations , to understand what has led them to think, feel or act in this way; instead of getting mad or jumping straight to judge them. Thanks to this, you solve everyday problems in a loving and effective way.

3) You are more respectful with the opinions of others : because you understand that everyone has their history and their way of seeing the world; and that that does not pose a threat to you .

You are clear about what you think and feel. You let yourself be soaked by the opinions of others that you consider appropriate. And the ones that don't, you just listen to, respect and let them pass, without taking it to personal ground or taking it as an offense.

Because you know that the fact that others disagree with you does not necessarily mean that you are wrong, or that your opinion is not as valuable as theirs.

So you get into less confrontation - and although you are able to argue with others, you are no longer upset .

4) When you mature, you are able to empathize with others without feeling overwhelmed by their emotions . You listen, support and accompany from the heart, but do not "stain" yourself with their feelings. Because you know it's not fair to you, or to them.

When you made other people's affairs and concerns yours, you used up your energy, lost objectivity and strength.

And you know that in those moments, others need solid support, a neutral guide, a reliable headlight.

That is why you become someone very respectable , who everyone wants to surround himself with for your wise , impartial, fair and loving advice .

5) You take charge of your own emotions in an adult way, knowing that there is no need to react or act as soon as you feel something or get upset.

You simply observe, accept and assume your feelings.

You understand that they are nothing but emotions, that they are fleeting , that they are natural, that they come largely from your own thoughts, and that you will not always feel the same way.

You try to have patience, self-control and respect for yourself. So if you get offended or upset, you distance yourself, you try to understand what that emotion has really caused you, and once you have ordered, clarified and cooled your thoughts and feelings, you move on to action. You are in charge of setting limits and solving what you consider necessary, from clarity and intelligence , being proactive (instead of reactive).

6) Do not play with the emotions of others : you are aware that this emotional wisdom carries great responsibility, because not everyone has their internal world worked equally. You know you play with advantage, so you have respect for others and try to make it easy for them, humbly paving the way for them.

The other day speaking with Macarena (code name of one of my clients), she realized the emotional maturity she is achieving thanks to her internal work.

A few months ago they cut their love relationship, because the situation was not going well between them.

Now she has begun to feel nostalgic and has been tempted to call her ex-boyfriend again.

But instead of being carried away by his impulse, he has stopped, he has observed his feelings without denying or blocking them. She has realized that what she misses is not so much her ex as such, but the life they had, the things they did together, feeling accompanied.

Macarena knows that if she picks up the phone, her ex is very likely to run back to her.

But she also knows that it is not fair to him, nor to her. The relationship had not worked for a long time, they had dragged unsolved problems for years and they were hurting each other.

So, out of respect for both of them and for the decision that it cost him so much to make at the time, -knowing that it was the best for both of them-, he has decided to act as an adult.

He has taken care of his pain and his melancholy. He is letting them rest, knowing that he will not feel this way forever, and that nothing is happening, he is safe and he will not die from being a little sad.

Macarena is going to allow her partner to fly free to rebuild his life, even though it is not what he wants most right now.

7) When you are emotionally mature you think about the common good , not only what benefits you or what you want. You approach relationships from justice, the balance between giving and receiving. You seek mutual benefit and promote it with each of your actions and words.

8) You learn to open up emotionally : You are no longer afraid of affection, connection with others, love or commitment.

Although you know that there is the possibility of suffering when you have a relationship with another human being (of all kinds, not only as a couple), you do not let your fears close you and separate you from others. So you get over your protective breastplate, trusting yourself and others.

9) When you are emotionally mature, you enjoy both alone and shared time : As you foster healthy and balanced relationships, you like to be with your people. You have a good time together, you share quality time and you recharge each other with energy.

But you don't need others to feel good. You don't need to be surrounded by people at all hours, no matter how sociable you are.

You take care of your life and your affairs , you try to be independent and self-sufficient as much as possible. You do not pretend that others are the ones who solve your problems, make your decisions, or who save you from yourself.

Since you have a good relationship with you and you feel comfortable with your thoughts, you are capable of both being silent and "being outside".

"A bird perched on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking. Because their confidence is not in the branch, but in their own wings. " -Anonymous-

10) Do not punish yourself for making mistakes : You try to improve and learn continuously.

You assume your mistakes without "throwing balls out", you take responsibility for the consequences of your actions and you understand that failing is what allows you to know which path you should NOT follow.

So don't insist on things going the way you want.

V is opportunities for growth in the blows of life, you become someone with resilience, who grows with adversity, without falling into defeatism or negativity.

11) You say "goodbye". Even if it hurts and costs you. You have learned to emotionally detach yourself from people, things, situations, ... without trying to keep drawing water from a well that is already empty.

But thanking and appreciating what it has brought you .

You are aware that life consists of a succession of stages and that everything is in constant motion. You try to flow with the changes and accept them as they come, knowing that you need to have your hands free to embrace what is new.

12) You have patience and confidence , you allow each process to take its rhythm and its times . You don't mean to speed things up or run away from your feelings, even though they are uncomfortable at times.

You have faith that in the end everything will turn out well and will have served to improve and grow.

You do not run away from conflicts or throw in the towel at the first change, you try to settle your affairs with care and affection, but being aware of when there is no solution and you should move.

13) You look painlessly into your emotional past , because you have healed your wounds. You resolve the issues that you still had open , accepting the things that happened, and forgiving (others and yourself).

14) You live focused on the present . You don't spend your life looking back, remembering the past. You know that that is gone and that the future does not yet exist. That the only thing you can do something about is in the here and now of each moment.

15) You stop complaining . You understand that sometimes life is uncomfortable and painful. You accept that things often don't go as planned, and that complaining only drains your energy and patience, filling you with negativity. So you focus on acting more and criticizing less.

Either you change, or you accept.

Remember that - as in almost everything in this life - there are different degrees .

It is not that "either you are emotionally mature or you are not at all."

You may be more so in some areas of your life than others . Or that in most situations you behave like an adult, but in other circumstances somewhat less.

The important thing is to keep in mind all these signs that we have seen, to try to follow them and move through life smoothly.

So now think:

How mature do you think you are right now?

In what areas of your life does it cost you the most?

What can you do to improve?

If your "me from the future" came (that version of you matures and knew that it has learned with experience and years)... What would you advise? What would I say to you right now?

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