7 Signs You're Emotionally Repressed video
Suppressing emotions is not the solution for them to leave. Have you asked yourself, how many times a day, do you repress your emotions? Or on the contrary, have you stopped to think how your emotions overwhelm you intensely without any control? Do you know what emotion you are feeling right now? Could you name it? Our body through the sensation gives us clues of what emotion we bring, but for each person a sensation can be related to a different emotion. Being able to pay attention to our emotions, in the moment, helps us to understand ourselves better, to name them and also to be able to regulate them later. Or rather, let them flow, to regulate themselves.
The learned repression of our emotions
Culturally we have been educated to guide ourselves "rationally", under the motto "I think, therefore I exist", downplaying emotions. At the social level, emotions have been labeled and stigmatized as positive (joy, surprise, curiosity) or negative (pain, anger, fear, sadness ). For many years we have been under that gaze, and under this paradigm. Emotions were something taboo, and they had to be repressed, denied, camouflaged or calmed as it was, so that they were not noticed. Expressions such as: Don't cry, be strong, don't be afraid, do they sound familiar? To me a lot.
Emotions are not negative per se
But years later it has been shown that emotions are neither good nor bad, they are simply, as is, neutral expressions of each one of us, which inevitably reveal a specific need to be human.
Evolutionarily, they have allowed us to survive as a species. They are expressed through the body, gestures, the expression of the face, as well as our thoughts. Emotions are instinctive reactions to act, in different situations and circumstances.
Emotions give us the opportunity to act in a different way in a specific situation, they guide us to know how to act depending on which situation to facilitate awareness of what our body is experiencing. Emotions give us a reference to what happens to us at a certain moment, and the appropriate energy to act in each situation.
Each of the emotions are signals that help us prepare to respond to different situations in our life. For example, through anger we can know that someone has crossed our limits, pain tells us that pain or a deep wound has appeared, fear communicates our need for security, pleasure helps us realize that our needs they are satisfied at that moment, sadness reveals what was lost, frustration tells us that we have unmet needs, confusion tells us that we are processing contradictory information for ourselves. Each emotion has its own message and intensity, and helps us towards self-knowledge.
The consequences of repressing emotions There are a whole series of emotions that many consider negative or uncomfortable, such as sadness, fear, anger, etc., that sometimes we tend to try to repress, denying them, ignoring them and if possible, trying not to feel them.
We pay a high price if we repress our emotions, since they do not disappear but remain inside us at an unconscious level, about to emerge with force, before any available opportunity. To repress our emotions, we need a very large amount of energy, because it takes much more physical, mental and emotional wear to suppress them than to feel them. Although we deliberately want to repress them, it will not be possible, since they will find their way in another way (stiffness in the body, insomnia, control, contractures, etc.) because when we repress emotions, instead of projecting them out, we are projecting inward, and the energy remains in our muscles and in our body.
Suppressing our emotions causes all kinds of pain and discomfort in our body, as well as physical illnesses and a lot of stress. You have to think that energy is not destroyed but is transformed. So, if we avoid expressing emotion (which is pure energy) it can even transform into diseases of all kinds.
Control of emotions, a false management
One of the most common strategies we use to try to manage our most uncomfortable emotions is control. It is believed that if we control our emotions they will disappear miraculously, but they are not. Actually, if we try to control fear, nervousness, helplessness, anger, the only thing that happens is that the emotion intensifies a lot. We understand control by trying to disconnect, rationalize, repress, and deny them. The fact of controlling our emotions, in that way only makes us stop being in contact with ourselves.
The stronger the repression, the more explosive and powerful the emotion released. That is, the response will be excessive. Trapped emotions seek a way out. This is part of the nature of emotions, because they must be felt and expressed. If we refuse to let them come out, the emotions will struggle to do so. The emotions that we keep repressed end up escaping from the unconscious mind.
Strategies to express and manage our emotions
One of the keys to effectively managing emotions is that instead of denying them and repressing them, we allow them to flow, this does not mean that if you are angry with your friend, you hurt them, or transgress their limits. Flow means that you attend to that emotion, that you pay attention to it, because it is surely giving you a message. Be aware of our emotions, name them and attend to them properly,
It would be a good formula to start with:
Shapiro: "All repressed, denied or ignored emotion remains locked in the body."
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