8 Reasons Why You're Always Unhappy video
The happiness can be presented in different ways, so it is difficult to define. The unhappiness, however, is quite simple to identify: know when you see it and you definitely know when you got caught in its claws.
The unhappiness is lethal to people around you , something like smoke from a smoker. The famous Terman study from Stanford University followed the lives of test subjects for eight decades and found that surrounding themselves with unhappy people is linked to health problems and shorter life expectancy.
The happiness has little to do with the circumstances of your existence. Research from the University of Illinois found that people who earn the most (above $ 10 million annually) are only slightly happier than the people who work for them.
The circumstances of life have less impact on happiness because there are many things that are in your control and are a product of your habits and the way you see life. Psychologists at the University of California discovered that circumstances and genetics only determine 50% of a person's happiness. The rest is up to you.
When people are not happy, it is more difficult to be around them, let alone work with them. Unhappiness drives people away, creating a vicious cycle that prevents you from reaching your full potential.
Unhappiness can take you by surprise. Much of your happiness depends on your habits (physical and thought) that you must closely monitor to avoid "falling into the abyss."
Some habits lead to more unhappiness than others. You must be careful so that they do not become part of you.
1. Wait for the future
Living saying "I'll be happy when ..." is one of the most common unhappy habits. It doesn't matter how you get to that point in the future (a raise, a promotion, a new relationship), because it puts too much emphasis on circumstances. Do not spend your time waiting for something that we already know does not change the way you see life. Better focus on being happy in the here and now because there are no guarantees for the future.
2. Spending a lot of time and effort to buy "things"
People living in extreme poverty increase their happiness when their income increases, but the feeling stabilizes once they reach US $ 20,000 annually. There are oceans of studies that show that material goods do not bring happiness. When you get in the habit of chasing things, you become unhappy because once you get them, you realize that you have sacrificed really valuable things like family, friends, and hobbies.
3. Always be at home
When you feel unhappy, it is very tempting to avoid people. This can be a big mistake since socializing, even if you don't like it very much, can elevate your habit. We all have those days when we just want to put the blanket on our head and not talk to anyone, however, it is important to note that the moment this practice becomes a trend, you begin to affect your health. Recognizing when unhappiness is making you antisocial will prompt you to make an effort to break out of your shell.
4. See yourself as the eternal victim
Unhappy people tend to operate in a state of "default" where life is difficult and out of their control. In other words they think "I'm going to go wrong and there is nothing I can do to prevent it." The problem with this philosophy is that it creates feelings of helplessness and people who feel this way do not usually try to improve their circumstances. We all have the right to feel bad from time to time, but you can't let a bad day change the way you see life. You are not the only person who sometimes goes wrong and you are in control of your life as long as you want to.
Nothing feeds unhappiness like pessimism does. The problem with this attitude, beyond affecting your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; If you expect bad things, bad things will happen to you. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake until one realizes how illogical they are. Force yourself to see the facts and realize that things really aren't as bad as they seem.
6. Complain about everything
Constant complaints are problematic, as is the attitude that generates them. This is self-reinforcing behavior. By constantly talking about - and therefore thinking - about everything that is wrong, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. Talking about what's bothering you can help you feel better, but there's a fine line between therapeutically venting and complaining about everything. This behavior not only fuels unhappiness, it also drives others away.
7. Get things out of proportion
Bad things happen to everyone. The difference is that happy people see them for what they are: a bump and nothing else in the way, while unhappy people take them as further proof that the world is against them. A happy person gets upset if he crashes on the way to work, but keeps things in perspective: "It's a nuisance, but at least it wasn't serious." On the contrary, someone unhappy uses that fact as evidence that their day, week, month, and even life, are doomed.
8. Ignore problems
Happy people are responsible for their actions. When they make a mistake, they take responsibility. Unhappy people, on the other hand, see problems and mistakes as a threat, so they try to hide them. Problems tend to grow in size when ignored. The more you ignore them, the bigger and more unassailable they will look.
9. Don't improve
Since unhappy people are pessimistic and feel a great lack of control in their lives, they tend to sit around and wait for things to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving, they just "float" and wonder why the negatives don't change.
10. Try to imitate everyone
Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you spend your time comparing yourself to others, it's time to stop. In one study, most study subjects said they wouldn't mind earning less money just if their peers were treated the same. Be wary of this kind of thinking as it doesn't really make you any happier.
Changing habits in the name of happiness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. But it is also important to know that taking control of your happiness automatically makes you happier.
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