10 Warning Signs of Gaslighting video
In the field of psychological violence, the subtle can become much more damaging than the obvious. Close people can do or say things that, although they may seem harmless to the naked eye, hide a burden of "poison" capable of creating a profound personal invalidation in those who suffer it. They are wolves in sheep's clothing.
The term gaslighting comes from the title of a classic 1944 Hollywood movie, "Gaslight," in which Ingrid Bergman is harassed by her husband, who tries to make him believe she is crazy. He manipulates his environment to make him believe that he is losing faculties, while he stands as his main protector and defender, when what he really wants is to subdue her. Have you ever met someone like that?
What is emotional abuse?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which you try to confuse the victim by handling information, so that you come to doubt your own perception of things, actions or thoughts, and even consider your own sanity. The abuser (or "gaslighter"), tries to put the victim at his mercy, diminishing his confidence and sense of reality .
How do you know if you are a victim of emotional abuse?
The peculiarity of this type of abuse is that there is no physical violence . In fact, the stalker is usually particularly careful and forthcoming to gain the victim's trust.
- You question what you think or what you do all the time.
- You feel confused and disoriented . Impotence for not remembering details.
- She is nervous and uncomfortable when she meets the stalker and she doesn't know specifically why.
- She criticizes herself for exaggerating the situation, for being too sensitive.
- He constantly apologizes .
- He is unable to make decisions . He doesn't trust his own judgment, so he chooses to believe the accuser's.
- Excuses the accuser if someone close to you criticizes or questions you.
- Feeling of incapacity He tries to live up to the expectations of the other, but he never succeeds. She feels underrated.
- Fear of expressing your own emotions, so you tend to keep quiet.
- He feels guilty for not being happy as before and for causing worries for the bully.
- You think you are losing your mind irreversibly.
How does the abuser act?
- Mistrust : in this initial phase the victim still believes in his own perception and beliefs, and although he would like to have the approval of the abuser, it does not create an imbalance between the parties.
- Defense : the victim begins to feel that he must protect himself and confronts the harasser trying to justify that he is wrong, resists and tries to refute it. In this phase, discussions are eternal without reaching conclusions. The need for approval increases.
- Depression : the victim's self-esteem and autonomy in this phase is already greatly affected. She begins to doubt everything and is afraid of making a mistake for fear of criticism. He tries to justify that the abuser is right, thinking that in this way he will get his love and approval. She feels sunken and disconnected.
Tips to combat it
- Pay attention to warning signs. It is important to catch the problem on time .
- Trust your own judgment, your values and your beliefs.
- Put context : you can not lose your mind only when we are with a specific person and work well with the rest.
- Keep your decisions : don't change your mind just because someone tells you to.
- Respect your emotions : nobody can tell you how you have to feel. Do not judge yourself from the other's perspective, but from your own parameters.
- Cultivate your assertiveness .
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, not bad. Communicate.
- Create your own spaces . Spend time on your evolution and personal growth.
- Don't wait for the stalker's approval. Do not try to reach agreements or that your position is recognized when there is manipulation involved, it is a losing battle.
- Question the need to keep the stalker in your life. Find alternatives .
What you should know...
- The peculiarity of this type of abuse is that there is no physical violence . In fact, the stalker is usually particularly careful and forthcoming to gain the victim's trust.
- The abuser (or "gaslighter") tries to put the victim at his mercy by nicking his confidence and sense of reality.
- Manipulation does not happen overnight. There are certain phases to weaken the victim: mistrust, defense and depression.
How many personality types human beings have is one of the most discussed topics in psychology . Understanding what others are like is very helpful in establishing effective relationships with other people. How to identify each one has been the subject of research for years by many experts and it seems that now a team has managed to...
When it comes to sexuality and gender, labels are both a help and a hindrance (Shutterstock)
In an increasingly interconnected world, it may seem strange that there are still people who feel lonely, but the reality is this. New technologies have made us exchange words more frequently, but the impact they have had on the quality of the emotional bonds that unite people has not been unequivocally positive.
First, it is important to understand that anxiety is a natural response of the body . It is an adaptive mechanism that helps us survive, prepares us for possible danger. We all feel anxiety at some point in our lives; however, we need to be able to tell the difference when it becomes a problem like experiencing an anxiety attack....
One of the easiest "traps" to fall when we are in a relationship, whether in a relationship, friendship or family, is emotional attachment. It is about the dependency that is created between two people and that means that we cannot be 100% independent. Our happiness does not depend, then, on ourselves, but will be very dependent on the...
Do you think you can have depression? Discover the most common symptoms of depression and how to detect them early. Enter and find the best way to know how to detect depression.