Achieve a solid couple bond
Achieving a stable, healthy and happy relationship is possible . In couples mediation sessions it is very common to find a series of common links that lead to discomfort and the desire for the dissolution of the couple.
For this reason, many couples go to mediation to try to find solutions and help in this crucial part of our lives. That is why I offer you a series of keys to achieve it.
Moving towards a happy couple relationship
These are the most important keys to keep in mind so that the emotional bond of the relationship remains strong.
1. There are no perfect relationships
This is the first key concept that we are going to work on. All relationships have their weaknesses . There is no perfect relationship.
Demystifying that concept will free you to work on your own happiness, since the important thing of a couple is not their problems but wanting to face them . And this is the first key to achieving success, not having an idealized image of the relationship and out of all logical and achievable reality.
2. You exist and you must have a space outside your partner
Take control of your life. Your happiness depends on you. Having your own space is essential, loving yourself too .
Your happiness can only be created by you; therefore, if you generate dependence on your mood with your partner, you will enslave yourself emotionally and behaviorally, being able to completely cancel yourself and give up your happiness.
3. Define the relationship you really want
Once you have become free with the two previous keys, define how you can and want to be as a couple. What are you willing to give and consent to and what do you expect in a logical and realistic way . Set limits for both parts.
No one can read our thoughts. Trying to draw conclusions without being certain of it, generates irrational thoughts and far from reality that will make us suffer senselessly. Show empathy and actively listen .
In those points where they need to negotiate, summarize what you have understood, without acrimony by any of the parties and always, trying to reach agreements thus avoiding discussions. It is your partner, not your enemy or enemy.
5. Ask for forgiveness and forgive
Living without rancor makes us free. Try to understand your partner better, and avoid being defensive . Welcome their displays of repentance and reconciliation. And, if you cannot, if you are always expecting the worst, analyze yourself. Is it always worth it? Why are you like this? Can it be solved?
6. Accept differences
It doesn't matter what differentiates you as a couple, it matters what unites you. Whatever they are, negotiate and establish a relationship of equality where each of the parties gives in to make the other happy. If one always yields in favor of the other, an imbalance occurs that in the long run is neither sustainable nor healthy.
7. Quality time together
It is very important that you spend time with your happy partner. Doing something that both of you like and enjoy. A time programmed to pamper yourself, take care of yourself, laugh, love yourself . Once a week, a month, when they can, but you have to create that time and space that will unite you and make you strong to face the bad times.
8. Practice gratitude
Yes, a gesture as simple as thanking and acknowledging what the other has done well is something that is diluted over time. We stop giving thanks from the heart, and we stop appreciating certain gestures, attitudes, behaviors ... because we already understand it as part of the routine and we stop giving it importance.
9. Love unconditionally
Don't put limits on your love. You cannot be in that constant fight; either you accept your partner or not. Being in constant war will lead to chronic exhaustion and death of the relationship.
Set the limits, deny them, comply with them, and from there, relax and enjoy . Everything can be solved if both parts are in balance.
This is the maximum key. Trust. If there is no reason not to, there is also no reason to be suspicious. Demand it the same way for yourself . If both parties respect the relationship agreements, they can live and let live.
Remember, a healthy and happy couple is one where respect, balance and trust are present. There will always be problems, it is about solving them together . It is about helping each other above all else.
Never allow physical or emotional abuse, abuse of any kind, disrespect or controlling behavior. Couples are the sum of two people with their own identity, who although they share many things, must continue to respect their individual roles that do not threaten their well-being, and where each can continue to develop and have their space.
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