An indication to know if anyone is trustworthy
A clue to know if someone is legit, is attending to how he talks about people who are not present. Run away from someone who always uses criticism and ridicule, because surely, he will also do it with you when you are not. Discover more factors below.
Many of us take it for granted that we have a "sixth sense" that makes it easy for us to know if I can trust a person. However, sometimes that internal sensor fails miserably. The lie, the sibylline betrayal, the unexpected disappointment and even the never expected betrayal arise; the one that leaves a wound difficult to forget.
Friedrich Nietzsche said that sometimes what hurts more than falsehood is knowing that from that experience it will be very difficult to believe in someone . It is enough that they fail us once so that we always walk with lead feet. We are not only hurt by that disagreement, by that sudden rupture of our trust. In a way, it is also common to feel bad about yourself.
The mind is filled with questions like "how could I have been so naive?" "How come I didn't see it coming?" "What is wrong with me to make these mistakes with others?". Before torturing ourselves with these kinds of issues, it is necessary to be clear on one aspect. People are made to trust each other, it is a characteristic of biology and this is how the brain also wants it.
Trust is the social glue of the human being. If it did not exist, we would move around the world in a state of alert, imagining that at least someone is going to harm us. We need to trust to live in balance and doing so is not a mistake, the fault, in fact, is in the one who betrays.
Keys to know if I can trust a person
The only way to know if I can trust a person is by giving him my trust. This advice may seem striking to us, but in the end we are almost obliged to give up part of that personal sphere to see how the other part handles it. Trusting is a quid pro quo , a game that we all have to risk at some point in order to build strong friendships and even happy affective relationships.
Now it is wise to be cautious and cautious. The ideal is to visualize trust as a chest full of precious treasures . When we meet someone it is not appropriate to immediately offer them that valuable belonging. What we will do is entrust him with some small objects to feel about ... We move forward little by little and we value how he reacts, how he acts and how he responds to certain experiences.
Let's see which keys would be the most appropriate to know if I can trust a person.
Pay attention to objective facts and don't get carried away by the first impression
According to a study carried out at the University of New York and Darkmouth, the brain region in charge of evaluating whether someone is trustworthy or not is the amygdala. After an analysis of the face, decide if that person can be a danger or if, on the contrary, it is someone with whom it is worth initiating some kind of bond.
Obviously, the brain cannot make a 100% reliable assessment using that mechanism. Our faces are not like qr codes capable of giving us a reliable reading of what lies behind. Therefore, while it is appropriate to listen to instinct and the sixth sense , let us stick to objective facts. Those that we will now analyze.
Notice how he talks and treats others
If you want to know what someone is like, pay attention to the way they speak of someone who is not present. There are people who when they are with us do not hesitate to criticize beings that are from their close circle (friends, family, partner ...).
Who is so agile to use criticism and discredit those who are not present, surely, will do the same with us when he is with third parties. Also, be sure to observe how he treats others. It is an obvious clue to his character.
Coherence and stability
There is a type of profile that not only arouses confidence. Plus, it's legit. We refer to those people who are consistent with what they say and what they do, with what they think and defend . They are personalities who, in any circumstance, in any setting or moment, show themselves the same, do not usually change.
They have clear values, which makes things easier because we know what to do with them . There are no double faces or hidden interests, they are authentic in each of their behaviors and attitudes.
They remember your words, they worry and they don't ask you for anything in return
To know if I can trust a person, he values something elementary: that he takes you into account, that he cares about you, that he remembers every thing you say to him that is important or inconsequential.
When they are interested in us, they will attend to the big and small details that make up our lives. If he perceives them and shows it to us with sincerity, it is that this person is someone who is worth trusting.
Propensity to blame to know if I can trust a person
This data is interesting and worth keeping in mind. According to research , guilt-prone people have a strong sense of responsibility and are therefore very trustworthy. Let us analyze it in detail to understand it.
- According to Dr. Emma Levine of the University of Chicago, until recently we related trustworthiness with kindness, humility, generosity ...
- Well, now we know one more factor, one that can give us a direct and sure clue that we can trust someone: it is the feeling of guilt.
- Someone who knows and values respect and trust, just by thinking that they can do something that offends or hurts the other, already experiences discomfort and guilt .
- Their behavior, therefore, will be oriented towards caring for the relationship, protecting and caring for it.
- On the other hand, if there is someone from whom we must flee at all costs, it is someone who does not experience a feeling of guilt for anything because then, we will be before a person lacking empathy.
Let's keep that in mind. We take care of these factors and we will always find valuable people and in whom to deposit our most precious treasure: trust.
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