Believe that your world is terribly bad
We often feel that life is terribly unfair. What can we do when this feeling overwhelms us? The first step is to accept that existence is not always easy or kind. The second, to put aside the position of victim and act.
"I feel that life has treated me badly and that everything is unfair." Who else and who least has ever had this same thought. It is almost like a lament laden with frustration, like a wound that hurts from accumulated disappointment over time. Now, experiencing this idea in a specific way and especially as a result of a specific circumstance, falls within the norm.
Feeling that existence is unfair when, for example, we lose someone we love or our relationship fails is understandable. Now, the problem comes when the person has this perception constantly . Also, when you have the firm conviction that destiny always works against you and that whatever you do, everything will advance in the end in an adverse and negative way.
In the latter cases, this approach is the clear reflection of the defenselessness, of that almost desperate mind that no longer knows how to act or what to do. The depression may be behind this filter that feel and interpret the world so as defeatist . The mind weaves traps and often makes us captive of an overly gray vision of our days ...
Let us analyze this fact in detail.
I feel like life has treated me badly and everything is unfair, what should I do?
The idea that life is not fair and that it has been treating us adversely is a widely studied view in the field of psychology. It is for two reasons. The first because human beings often deal with realities that are certainly not fair to anyone . Wars, humanitarian tragedies, loss of loved ones, illnesses, economic problems ...
Life is not always easy and it is interesting to know how people overcome these crossroads. Second, because the human mind articulates very specific psychological processes that explain this perception. In fact, it is common in therapy to hear expressions such as " I can't believe this is happening to me! Why does the worst always happen to me in this life?
So let us understand what we can do when dealing with those same moments.
The "fair world bias". We must accept the less kind side of life
It may sound heartbreaking or overwhelming, but the world is not a kind place. In reality, it is a blatantly unfair scenario at times. There are many people who travel through destinations they do not deserve and even to the noblest men and women, bad things happen to them .
Life is unfair, but we firmly believe that it must be a promise of happiness and absolute balance . And this defines perhaps the most common and recurrent bias in the human being, that of the "just world" . Studies such as those carried out at the University of London show us that those who cling to the idea that the world should always be kind to them suffer greater anxiety and psychological suffering.
On the other hand, those who understand that life is sometimes dark and dark and that we must accept those more complex moments of our day to day, cope better with stress .
Refuse to be a victim, act
"I feel that life has treated me badly, I feel that fate has been terribly cruel to me . " Whoever assumes the constant perception that existence is always adverse to itself, borders towards that helplessness that distorts everything. It is necessary to put aside the role of victim , of that passivity that receives without reacting each storm and each gale.
The first step is to accept the reality of the facts, but the second is to move forward, act, overcome and transform our reality to place it for our own benefit . Sooner or later, that sunny time arrives where everything is calm. Let us refuse to be victims of our circumstances.
The cognitive distortions in you
When we perceive all our experiences through negativity, it is very difficult to make changes. And the cause of this is many times in our mind, in cognitive distortions . Let's see some examples of them to know how to detect and control them:
- Nobody wants me in this world (excessive generalization).
- Whatever I do, everything is going to go wrong (generalization).
- I'm worthless (labeled).
- I know that nobody trusts in my abilities and potential (read the mind).
- This project I'm working on is going to fail (guess the future).
I feel like life has treated me badly: be aware of what you can and cannot control
When you say to yourself "I feel that life has treated me badly and that everything is unfair" you must stop. Giving yourself time and getting your emotions, thoughts and personal perspectives in order is a priority in those moments of difficulty. In difficult moments it is more decisive than ever to decide well, to know where to go.
For this, in addition to identifying those cognitive distortions mentioned above, it is necessary to assume another fact. You must be aware of what you can control and what is simply out of your control. You cannot, for example, control many of the things that happen to you, but you can control your thoughts and emotions .
Sometimes life is adverse and takes unkind courses; It is true. But we can adjust our attitude to face them better and take paths that are more favorable to us. Let's think about it .
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In couple relationships there is always a certain degree of commitment and, of course, seeking the company of the person you love. However, some people have an excessive emotional dependence on their partners .