Do you know all that silence can offer us?

15.08.2020
Silence evokes emptiness, loneliness, fears and past hurts that we prefer to continue covering with external noise. But do you know all that silence can offer us?

You get in the car and turn on the radio. You come home and turn on the TV. You put music on your phone while you shower, sing or think. Silence scares us and we show it in a thousand ways. The emptiness that the absence of noise suggests torments us ; and with this fear we lose important opportunities. And it is that, perhaps, if we knew the value of silence, we would stop fleeing from it as from an enemy.

When was the last time you were silent? When did you experience the complete absence of external and internal stimuli? For most people this is almost a utopia, a state impossible to achieve and sustain. It is also, in his view, something dangerous and disturbing. But why does this happen to us? and what can we do about it?

Silence scares us

Perhaps, you have already realized that there is this general trend in our society or perhaps not. You may even have detected this fear of silence in yourself, even if you are not sure why it is . The reality is that every day we show signs of this phenomenon.

We surround ourselves with all kinds of technological devices that provide us with visual and auditory stimulation. And we not only do it as a mode of entertainment in our leisure time, but we use them in any daily activity. While we cook, clean or play sports , external noise accompanies us .

The same is true when we spend time with colleagues, friends or family. Even if we meet a neighbor in the elevator, we would rather start a banal and condescending conversation than remain silent . Many times we don't have something to say, yet we still make an effort to fill those terrifying gaps with words.

But even when we are in apparent silence, with no outside noise to overwhelm our senses, we turn to our inner resources to flee . Has it ever happened to you that, when you go to sleep, in the still of the night, your mind seems to race, taking you from the past to the future in a constant rumination ? These are nothing more than mechanisms to avoid the silence of the present.

Why does silence scare us?

Because we don't know each other

Silence scares us because it implies getting in touch with ourselves. We run from him because we run from ourselves. It is a fear of being alone with a part of our being that we refuse to see, with the fears and hurts that we have been ignoring. We are terrified to hear our own voice, an inner cry that we have buried for years under other people's voices and external noises.

We don't know each other because we have never been alone. We don't know each other and we are scared to do so. When silence appears it brings with it the sounds of our shadows , of those dark parts that we do not recognize as our own when they are. Where does that anxiety come from, that feeling of loneliness and emptiness, that contained anger that arises when we are silent? All of this is us, even though we have refused to see each other for decades.

Because we are not used

However, not all the fault is ours. We were born and live immersed in a society that does not teach us to connect or listen to ourselves , but rather constantly occupies and distracts us.

Self-knowledge, personal development, meditation ... all these practices seem reserved for a minority that suffers and needs to repair, when in reality we should all practice them.

Silence is stigmatized and we are taught to see it as something negative , as a sign that the quiet person is angry, offended, sad or absent. Silence evokes loneliness and emptiness, shyness and negative emotions, when this should not be the case.

Start practicing silence

Practicing silence helps us connect with our fears, hurts, and desires . It allows us to know ourselves, heal ourselves, and come back to ourselves. It offers us the opportunity to discover our wishes and opinions, to regain our strength and our voice. When you know and accept yourself, when you learn to love and be with yourself, there is no other comparable place in the world.

Only you can fill your voids, heal your wounds, and overcome your fears. Only you can work for your dreams and goals. So why are you afraid to be with you? Give yourself a chance, you will discover how much you have missed all this time. 

When we reason about a problem, we tend to use a simple and useful outline most of the time. This way of thinking is what is known as linear thinking.

In couple relationships there is always a certain degree of commitment and, of course, seeking the company of the person you love. However, some people have an excessive emotional dependence on their partners .

First, it is important to understand that anxiety is a natural response of the body . It is an adaptive mechanism that helps us survive, prepares us for possible danger. We all feel anxiety at some point in our lives; however, we need to be able to tell the difference when it becomes a problem like experiencing an anxiety attack....

One of the easiest "traps" to fall when we are in a relationship, whether in a relationship, friendship or family, is emotional attachment. It is about the dependency that is created between two people and that means that we cannot be 100% independent. Our happiness does not depend, then, on ourselves, but will be very dependent on the...