Have you lost your sexual appetite?

14.09.2020

In this article we will explore the emotional causes that can be the triggers for your low libido , and we will also talk about the concepts through which the solution to this problem arrives.

Hypocative sexual desire as a problem

Hypoactive sexual desire is the absence of erotic fantasies and motivation to experience sexual intercourse , which occurs persistently and permanently, which leads to difficulties in relationships and discomfort.

The variables permanence and persistence are key in this definition. Sexuality and desire are cyclical, it is not the same every day; However, if you notice as if the switch of your desire had been turned off for some time and this causes you discomfort both personally and with your partner, I will explain what the causes may be and some ideas to increase desire.

Causes of low sex drive

When we talk about lack of desire it is important to rule out organic factors such as chronic diseases and hormonal problems . In this article I am going to focus on psychological-relational factors.

1. Problems in the couple relationship

When a couple is going through a rough patch, it is common for the sexual desire of at least one of the partners to decrease. For desire to be present it is necessary to feel comfortable; Factors such as feeling undervalued in the relationship, frequent arguing, or feeling like you've fallen into a rut can affect your desire level.

Exploring conflicts in the relationship, such as a lack of communication, will help find ways to reactivate that desire. In these cases, the desire can be fed both personally and as a couple. It is important not to pressure the other person, but to start a new dynamic of seduction both with yourself and with your partner.

2. Stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety trigger the "alert mode" and emotional and physiological responses are triggered to deal with that "stressor." When this happens, one of the aspects that is affected before is sexual function.

Think about what would happen if you had a lion in front of you, all those aspects not related to survival are "blocked" until the threat has passed. Today, although stressors are different, our anxiety response mechanisms remain the same. Therefore, when you go through a time of uncertainty, a lot of stress or if you have anxiety, sexual desire is suppressed.

3. Low sexual desire derived from other sexual dysfunctions

Sexual dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation, vaginismus or anorgasmia, often cause discomfort . If these problems persist over time, an avoidance response is activated. The person begins to avoid sexual intercourse and feels less and less desire.

If this is the case, it is very helpful to work with a basic sexual dysfunction professional in order to restore desire.

How to reactivate desire?

There are many ways to reactivate desire. Once we know the causes of the lack of desire, it will be easier to design a plan that works for you. However, there are a number of central themes:

Sex education

Many people do not know what their body is like and how it works. This means that certain taboos or preconceptions may also be present that restrict the way of living sexuality .

Explore fantasies and needs

Knowing what things stimulate you and make you enjoy, not only in sexual relationships but in your life in general, reconnecting with feelings of pleasure and enjoyment is a good way to call for desire.

Novelty and curiosity

Desire feeds on them, how can you incorporate these elements into your life?

Concluding

Remember, desire calls for desire , it's a matter of listening to yourself and allowing yourself to explore what makes you feel good.

On the other hand, professional help through sexology services are effective in overcoming this kind of problem in all its forms, in the medium and long term. 

Psychotherapy is not simply about meeting with the psychologist and telling him out loud about the frustrations that we have been carrying over the last days or weeks; nor is it going to informative sessions in which as patients we internalize theoretical knowledge about what happens to us and we let go of false beliefs.

The concept of "addiction" usually goes hand in hand with that of "drug", but in practice, this is not the case. There are addictions in which the consumption of any addictive substance is not involved, and in fact, they are not statistically rare cases.

Erectile dysfunction is one of the sexual dysfunctions that affect more men. However, luckily, it can be treated effectively both from medicine and from sexual therapy based on the findings of Psychology and the methods of emotional regulation.

Dynamic Psychology is an approach oriented to the study of the forces that act in the individual , between the organization of the personality and the consequences of these.