Indifference that destroys your self-esteem

01.10.2020

There are many people who no longer feel like grooming themselves and who begin to neglect their physical appearance ... Why is this apathy? Is it just a bad time or is there something else behind it? We analyze it.

" I don't feel like dressing up anymore . I hardly worry about what to wear, about combing my hair, how I look when I leave the house. " Many people are reaching this situation. This disinterest in the image itself often draws attention to those who until not long ago had a special obsession and care for detail in their appearance.

Often they say that apathy is like falling in love: you do not know what it is until it suffers. This is precisely what these men and women experience who begin to overlook their physical appearance. Thus, peculiarities such as growing a beard excessively, putting on the same clothes over and over again or stopping dyeing their hair (when before it was unthinkable for gray hair to show through the roots) are the scene of this dangerous neglect.

Thus, it is very common to go through that apathy for weeks or months without reacting and also allowing that abandonment to reach other areas of life. We stop fixing ourselves because we no longer care about physical appearance or what others may think. So, are these types of situations normal?

Obviously not. Furthermore, in psychology we know that when someone begins to repeat excessively that of "I no longer feel like this and that", you have to turn on the alarm light. There is a covert problem that needs clarification. We analyze it below.

I no longer feel like dressing up: what's wrong with me?

If I no longer feel like dressing up, it's for something. One does not lose interest just like that from one day to the next and more when it comes to personal appearance. Beyond whether we are one of those who cannot leave the house without having gone through the mirror filter about 100 times before or if we belong to the club of those who clean up in ten minutes, there is something that never fails.

On average, we seek to look good. We choose what to wear because we know what suits us best. What's more, the vast majority of us like to make a good impression . Grooming and the search to give a pleasant image is a principle and even a basic need for most of us . In this way, when the desire stops, when it no longer motivates us to dress, comb our hair and like ourselves in the mirror, there is a reality behind that we must clarify.

Let's analyze the possible causes.

Your self esteem has weakened

Can self-esteem weaken from one day to the next? Yes and no. One thing we should know about this psychological dimension is that it is not stable . Our appreciation and vision of ourselves and of how others see us can fluctuate. Change does not come so quickly, but it does come gradually and as a result of some experience.

Thus, studies like those carried out at the University of Pavia show us, for example, that self-esteem is very sensitive to everyday problems, disappointments, emotional failures ... This is very common when we are younger. However, when we reach the third age, self-esteem is more stable.

Therefore, something like losing our job, arguing with our partner or having a breakup will undoubtedly make us lose the desire to fix ourselves. Interest in our image goes directly to the background.

The apathy that devours everything

We were already talking at the beginning of the shadow of apathy when we said to ourselves that "I no longer feel like fixing myself . " We must understand that this experience goes beyond an empty emotional state, because in fact it also acts as an attitude towards life. There is lack of concern, lack of response, lack of motivation, disinterest ... It is falling into a lethargy in which one does not find strength or desire for almost anything.

Therefore, the person will not only show a lack of desire to get ready, to take care of their physical appearance, to get up in the morning and achieve the best of the aspects before leaving home. Lackiness in appearance is compounded by many others, such as inability to be productive at work, lack of interest in socializing, in talking with friends and family ...

All-devouring apathy is a symptom and, in many cases, behind it may be dysthymia or major depressive disorder. Whenever this lack of energy, courage and will lasts for more than three weeks, it is advisable to seek specialized help.

I no longer feel like fixing myself: mind on the limit and excess of worries

"If I no longer feel like fixing myself, it is because this is secondary. There are other priorities, there are things that demand all my energy, my attention, my efforts and concerns... ".

When we go to these extremes, the mind is giving too much of itself. Concerns overwhelm us and we focus our whole being and wills towards other dimensions: work, family, personal projects... It is certainly good to have motivators, to have responsibilities to take care of, but that in life does need a balance.

Any extreme, any situation where oneself is displaced to prioritize other aspects for a long time takes its toll on us . Taking care of ourselves, taking care of our appearance, worrying about our appearance is something healthy and positive: it makes us feel good. It is not just about trying to have a good image to please others; we need, above all else, to feel good about ourselves.

Getting ready is the first thing we do as soon as we get up and if we neglect ourselves, we are failing little by little. Because, after that carelessness, many more come, like stopping doing the things we like or giving up having time for ourselves . None of that is good or recommended. Let's keep it in mind.

Sleeping is a must. If we want to perform physically and mentally the next day, it is necessary that we have enjoyed a good sleep the night before. Only by having good sleep hygiene can we wake up rested and full of energy.

According to Harvard psychologist and author of The Sociopath Next Door , Martha Stout, one in 25 people is a sociopath . This can represent a real problem for today's society.