Manual with the best tips to start a relationship

11.11.2020

Before starting a new relationship, learn to be alone. Do not look for a partner only to alleviate your loneliness, longings and emptiness. Love from the freedom and maturity of those who, far from searching, allow themselves to find.

We would love to have a manual that reveals the best keys before starting a relationship. Those with which to hit the mark in love and not fail in the attempt, those whose advice would allow us to avoid all kinds of pain and disappointment to finally find the ideal person, the most suitable, the one that allows us to start a stage of bliss and absolute happiness.

However, none of this is possible and whoever tries to sell it to us is wrong. Starting a relationship often requires taking risks, parachuting and betting on who appears unexpectedly and fills us with illusions. Sometimes we will err in the choice, it is true. Others, we will be able to build a beautiful story that, although brief, is worth living. However, what we most want on average is to achieve a stable and satisfying relationship.

So are there any kind of guidelines, steps or strategies that could help us? Indeed, there are, but they are psychological tools that are not intended to help us find the ideal person. The best key in emotional matters go through focus first self because the personal development helps us become more adept in the art of love.

"Love is an art and requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith and overcoming narcissism. It is not a feeling, it is a practice".

-Erich Fromm -

Keys before starting a new relationship

The humanist psychologist Carl Rogers said that happiness lies in accepting oneself as they are, making contact with who we are, with what defines us. There is no better starting point to start the adventure of love. Because if there is something we know about this dimension, it is that sometimes it comes unexpectedly and without us expecting it.

This is why it pays to be prepared. In fact, enabling ourselves in these areas will allow us to develop not only more mature and satisfying relationships, but also to acquire life skills to gain well-being. We analyze it below; Let's understand what the keys are before starting a new relationship.

1. Love without needing: don't start a relationship just to avoid being alone or forgetting your ex

You've met someone interesting, great. You have met several times and you have a good time, there is chemistry. Now, sometimes we pull forward in certain relationships just to have a person by our side again. It may even be that our greatest need is to forget an ex-partner who hurt us, a past that continues to float excessively in our memory.

Let's be clear about it, one nail doesn't pull out another nail, in fact, it makes it deeper. Let us act with maturity and avoid initiating ties out of mere emotional need and not out of desire, for an authentic feeling that goes beyond covering loneliness and unhealed wounds.

2. Maintain your independence, don't stop exploring and growing in new situations

Develop yourself in multiple areas, do not limit your growth to your ability to learn, enjoy, discover. Finding a partner is not the only goal we should have in life. In reality, the key is to allow ourselves to be found while enjoying each dimension that the world offers us in its vast possibilities.

In each learned experience, we establish knowledge, skills, psychological resources and that emotional maturity that enables us to be more skilled in love.

3. Do not show what you are not, authenticity without filters

One of the keys before starting a new relationship is to clarify who we are, what we want and what we are not willing to accept. In the case of not carrying out this exercise of clarification and contact with our self, we will make use of the masks and half-truths.

Thus, when we start to meet someone, if there is something we are looking for at all costs, it is to like, attract, and even be what the other expects. This can sometimes lead us to act very differently than we really are. There is no worse mistake.

Every chronicle of announced unhappiness begins precisely by pretending what we are not. Let's avoid it.

4. Cut with family mandates, release weight from your previous emotional failures

Often when we start a relationship we realize that there are actually three of us. The third occupant in an affective bond can be represented by our family or the weight of our past relationships. Not a good prospect. Thus, one of the keys before starting a new relationship is to manage and manage all these dimensions.

It is necessary to free ourselves from the psychological weight of family mandates, of those parents who continue to interfere in our lives and, above all, in our relationships. Likewise, it is also decisive that we are able to turn the page in terms of past relationships. Far from conditioning our present, they should serve us to gain experience.

5. Keys before starting a new relationship: what do you really want?

What do you really want? The question may even seem naive, but the answers that must be derived from this question are decisive and must be asked.

Do you want something stable or a disposable relationship in which to focus only on sex and have a good time? Are you looking for an exclusive partner or are you one of those who prefer an open relationship in which polyamory is not excluded ? Are you one of those who prefers to go slowly and not rush?

All these questions are decisive and one of the keys before starting a more relevant relationship, both for you and the other person. Being clear about what we want is as decisive as knowing what we do not want in a partner.

To conclude, beyond those unreliable and fanciful advice on how to find the ideal person, there are those other guides with which to achieve something more decisive. The most satisfying love is only achieved by becoming authentic, free and mature people who know what they are looking for, who know each other and who, far from desperately looking for someone, allow themselves to be found at the right and appropriate time.

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