Many more things are needed to be happy

23.05.2020

It takes a lot to be happy; however, we have long believed otherwise. Charles Dickens said that the trick is not to seek happiness, to see it as that gift that we unwrap from time to time. Now, assuming this type of idealistic approach moves us away from the true reality. Because, after all, this dimension is directly related to mental health. 

Do not be fooled: people need to work and take care of many psychological aspects to enjoy that emotion. Happy is not always that lucky person who has a good checking account and five properties in her name. Sometimes, even having everything we wanted and dreamed of, we did not experience an iota of satisfaction, well-being or joy.

What's more, when they point out that happiness is in the little things of everyday life, it will be impossible to see or appreciate them if we are not well. If there is suffering within us, the rumor of anguish, the whirlwind of anxiety or the weight of some trauma. It doesn't matter that life gives us reasons to be happy; If there is chaos within us, what happens outside is meaningless.

It takes a lot to be happy

The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi already explained something important to us in the 90s in his famous book Fluir, psychology of happiness. "The joy we get from living, he said, depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences."

Therefore, if that mind is not well (for whatever reasons), it will not be able to see the light of that wonderful sunrise, nor will it appreciate the laughter of your child, nor the harmony of the small details lived in couple. Happiness is not hidden in small daily acts but in the well-being of a mind that appreciates them.

Also, in that brain capable of focusing on what surrounds it, without the veil of depression, without the echo of past suffering or the presence of any mental health problem. It takes a lot to be happy and we cannot neglect the great relevance of our psychological balance. Because beyond who you are, what you have or the pleasures that surround you, there are those pillars on which our ability to work for your own well-being is based. And let's have it, of course, they are not few.

You may also be interested in reading as a related article:

Know how to manage emotions to live better

Happiness is the most universal of emotions, and yet the most elusive. It is because our mind often tends to experience worry, fear, anxiety, etc. On average, we have little room for that comforting feeling of euphoria, for that caress that connects us with the most intense side of life.

A first lesson that we should integrate into our repertoire of skills is emotional management. Thanks to it, we would understand that it is indeed normal to feel sadness, anguish or frustration from time to time. Everyday reality is complex and it is inevitable to feel these emotional realities. However, these cannot become chronic. They cannot persist for weeks or months.

Understanding, managing and channeling them would undoubtedly allow us to leave wider corners for happy moments.

Self-esteem, meaning and purpose of life: the three basic colors of happiness

We all want to be happy, but we do not know what the true ingredients of this holy grail are. Happy is not always the one with the most belongings. Neither does the one with the most friends. Authentic well-being is built on a daily basis through the following dimensions:

  • Taking care of self-esteem, remembering what we need, becoming aware of what hurts us, setting limits, working for what we want and deserve.
  • Giving meaning to our life, finding meaning in who we are, what we see ...
  • Likewise, it is also essential that we clarify our purposes. Placing the horizon near realistic and concrete goals and objectives impels us to get up every day, to continue fighting.

It takes a lot to be happy ... but the most important thing is to be good with yourself

It takes a lot to be happy. You have to master the difficult art of being good with yourself. We must know how to love ourselves, be able to fight for what we want, accept the bad days when they come, learn from them and allow ourselves to enjoy the good times when they come. Because yes, they often appear.

This does not remove much less evidence: we are forced to live complex circumstances, moments in which crises and problems open up under our feet. We are aware that sometimes happiness seems more like an ideal than a reality. However, this comforting dimension is part of our emotional repertoire.

The fact that siblings stop talking to each other is often a particularly painful circumstance. Disagreements, different personalities, disappointments ... There are many causes that can generate disagreement. Now, if it is our wish, what can we do to turn the situation around?

Achieving a stable, healthy and happy relationship is possible . In couples mediation sessions it is very common to find a series of common links that lead to discomfort and the desire for the dissolution of the couple.

He who has initiative changes his world and does not expect others to pave the way for him or lower the moon. In the end, we discover how decisive it is to dare and do things for ourselves. However ... where to start?