Rush into the void of regret

02.01.2021
There are loves at first sight that make us go very fast in a relationship. Now, it is not good to burn stages in an affective bond. Rushing ourselves and giving everything without thinking can make us regret it sooner or later.

Going very fast in a relationship can sometimes lead to the void of regret. Because sometimes it happens, love captivates us at a given moment and soon, passion blinds us and drags us to make our emotions anchors that lead us adrift and without a clear direction. There are always exceptions, of course, but rushing is not usually good allies.

The need to burn stages in an affective bond can, for example, make a couple start a life together a week after they met. It also happens that you decide on a link, to formalize that love at first sight in a few months. Some even culminate this passion with the birth of a child. Later, many of those impulsive decisions turn into disagreements.

Getting it right or wrong depends on multiple factors, such as age, experience, the partner's personality, emotional abilities, and psychological maturity . Love is an adventure in which sometimes we achieve a wonderful project in common and other times we commit one more failure to learn from. Be that as it may, there are always consequences that we should anticipate.

We analyze them.

What are the consequences of going too fast in a relationship?

There is unwritten advice that reminds us that when it comes to love or sex , the slower we go the better. However, this is never easy to remember or control. The fever of falling in love sometimes leads us to jump into the void and without a parachute, to advance stages without meditating before if we are perhaps being too impulsive.

An example, studies such as those carried out at Cornell University (New York), show us something interesting. In a sample of 600 couples, it was evidenced that those who had gone very fast in their relationship, such as having sex on the first date and living together after a few weeks or months did not always give good results .

The rate of subsequent ruptures was high. Obviously there are exceptions, but on average rushing does not bring happiness or stability . Let us therefore know some of the consequences of going too fast in a relationship.

After falling in love, we discover that there is no love

Falling in love is a feeling injected by passion , desire, and attraction. There are effervescent relationships, which capture us for their intensity, for sexual pleasure and the pleasant sensation of being in love. However, in a short time all that effervescence subsides and calm, everyday life and routine arrive.

It is then that we discover that beyond passion ... There is no love. There is no solid alliance, the love that threads the day to day and the magic of simple things. We discovered, almost surprised, that we do not share the same values , that it is difficult to reach agreements and that there are not even coincidences in future plans ...

Who am I sharing my life with?

Attraction, passion and falling in love apply an extraordinary filter to us. Everything shines, the other person shines in absolute perfection and we project on him or her a thousand virtues, hundreds of skills and benefits. Now, one of the consequences of going very fast in a relationship is that, as they say, a day comes when that filter is deactivated and we see the reality of the other without pixelation and without golden layers.

Suddenly, we wonder who we are sharing our life with. That person who is by our side is not only a stranger, he is someone who does not harmonize at all with who we are and what we expect from an emotional relationship.

That relationship was a way to forget another past relationship (and not healed)

Sometimes, that need to burn through stages, to speed up the times and make that stranger a constant in the day to day responds to buried needs. Many people start relationships to forget other past relationships that were painful . Relationships liana (linking one couple after another) has this competent.

There is also another obvious fact. Going fast makes everything intense, those effervescent emotions cover up past pain and, for a while, almost everything is cathartic. However, at the end the day comes when this relationship stops patching the wounds of yesterday to make the present a new nonsense.

Too much intensity is taking its toll

Another consequence of going too fast in a relationship is emotional intensity and paying attention, almost exclusively, to the other person. The thought focuses on the other obsessively, only the relationship matters, everything we do is oriented towards him or her, the emotional level is always intense, overflowing, addictive ...

Finally, it is common to suffer from psychic exhaustion and perceive that we are forgetting ourselves .

Go very fast in a relationship: things you did not know about that person

Accelerating times in love can cause us to overlook aspects that are often decisive. From one day to the next, something unforeseen may arise that leaves us puzzled. That person may believe in open relationships, polyamory and have more than one partner in parallel.

Likewise, it may also be the fact that he is a person with some type of addiction or that he simply carries with him complex family problems that he had not told us about. All these are situations that we do not always see in the early stages, therefore, it is always better to be cautious and prudent when deciding next steps .

To conclude, it is true that each person is free to decide how fast they want to go in an emotional bond. However, to avoid irremediable disappointments in the future, it is always appropriate to be very clear with who we are. Going slow is sometimes wise and much more rewarding . Let's think about it.

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