Stop judging yourself and remember that you are worth more than you think

12.06.2020

When looking for a technique to increase self-esteem it is common to find multiple approaches. After all, few crafts in the human universe are as relevant as this to psychology. Abraham Maslow, for example, defined it in his day as a basic need; something that, in case of not caring, will not allow us to achieve self-realization or happiness.

Low self-esteem is, in fact, the colorary of many of our problems, anxiety disorders, depression, many relationship problems and, in essence, everyday suffering. There are many approaches and psychological schools that have deepened in this area to provide us with knowledge and resources to care for, repair and heal it.

If this dimension is our eternal neglected, it is basically for two reasons. The first part generally of our childhood, of the way we were raised, of whether our parents were able to validate us, to make us feel valuable, safe and able to walk through life.

The second reason is important to keep in mind. Self-esteem is not a stable concept. It is not something that one achieves and preserves until the end of her existence. This area of ​​our mental and emotional architecture is usually very fickle. A bad experience and the way we interpret it or even go through a painful affective relationship can weaken it.

Therefore, people are obliged to care for it as one who cares for a garden every day. Weeds must be removed, good seeds must be sown, and the flowers grown in this area must be watered daily. Let's meet a simple resource to promote that self-care.

Technique to increase self-esteem

Many of us are concerned with what others think of us. So much so that sometimes we even hide aspects of our personality. We do it to gain acceptance and avoid being judged. Furthermore, sometimes, simply living with a narcissistic person can end up draining our self-esteem completely.

We spend so much time trying to win the affection or approval of that person (our narcissistic mother or father, narcissistic partner, etc.) that it is common to end this dimension with minimums. It is necessary to put distance from these figures of suffering to later heal the trauma and strengthen that area again.

As we pointed out at the beginning, this task must be daily. Something that indicates us in a research work carried out by Crocker, J. and Parkh, L.E. (2004) at the University of Houston, in Texas, is that many times we spend our lives looking for sources that reinforce our self-esteem. These sources can be a new emotional relationship, a good group of friends, a good job, etc.

However, all that external search is unsuccessful. The best technique to increase self-esteem is one that focuses on daily internal work. We cannot look outside for what is not inside. Let us know a simple resource to achieve this.

"Just for today" mental training to reconcile with us

The opposite of self-esteem is self-sabotage. We apply this exercise, so damaging to our identity and psychological well-being, through a negative and damaging internal dialogue: "As much as I do, I will never be good at this, it is not worth trying the other because I am going to fail, I am not as determined and capable as those around me, I am sure to disappoint them.

There comes a time when our minds get used to those kinds of thoughts. This is something that we must break, deactivate and change. One way to achieve this is through this technique to increase self-esteem: "just for today." It consists of the following:

  • It is about training our approach towards a series of simple as well as powerful ideas. With them we will reconcile ourselves, awaken potentials, heal misconceptions that we have nurtured for a long time, etc.
  • Those ideas or proposals are aimed at deactivating negative dialogue.
  • Every day we will work on a dimension related to self-esteem.

These would be some examples of these proposals that work on a daily basis.

  • "Just for today" I will speak to you with kindness, reminding myself that I am valuable, that I must love myself as I deserve.
  • "Just for today" I will set myself a goal, I will fulfill it and I will remember that I am capable, that I am brave and capable of transforming my reality.
  • Today I will distance myself from what hurts me, from what causes me doubts or unhappiness. Just for today I allow myself to give myself what makes me laugh, what I feel like and enriches my self-esteem.
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