The absence of empathy is not easily observed

14.11.2020

There are many experts who already consider this reality as a psychological disorder. We analyze it.

Symptoms of empathy deficit disorder (EDD) describe a very particular type of profile . He is someone incapable of leaving the prison of his own mind, of his own psychological boundaries. It does not connect with the realities of others and even, at times, even disparages them. They are men and women who are accompanied by constant conflict, as well as repeated dissatisfaction.

It is quite possible that reading this description we almost immediately think of a narcissist. However, and although it is surprising to us, the lack of empathy is that unstitched that inhabits a large number of people without the forced need to have this condition. We may even be living with someone who responds to these traits and not being aware.

It may be, for example, that couple unable to put themselves in the place of the other and who only prioritizes their needs. It may be that friend who is always angry because we do not see things as he or she sees them and it is also possible that we ourselves are the ones who demonstrate this psychological reality. Because the lack of empathy does not hurt, it is not noticeable, it is not like a stain on the dress that one discovers and tries to remove it.

Being empathic is a human ability that not only improves our social relationships, it also mediates our well-being. It is important to consider if perhaps we are neglecting this healthy exercise.

What are the symptoms of empathy deficit disorder (EDD)?

Empathy deficit disorder does not appear in diagnostic manuals. That is, we will not find its description in the DSM V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) . At the moment, it is just a proposal launched by the business psychologist, psychotherapist and writer, Douglas LaBier through the medium Psychology Today .

What he explains in this article is an idea that he himself perceives after decades of experience in the field of psychological therapy and also as a researcher of human development. People increasingly show a marked and severe lack of empathy. This is a clear and obvious psychological condition that we are overlooking.

That ability to project ourselves onto the other, understand their world, connect with their emotions and react accordingly to those needs is something that has been failing in recent times. The cause is not so much realities as the aforementioned narcissism itself, autism spectrum disorder or borderline personality disorder. You don't have to suffer from a mental condition to stop using empathy.

Sometimes, selfishness, the desire to be self-sufficient, independent or to climb positions in our society place us on the edge of that cold abyss. Let's find out, therefore, what are the symptoms of empathy deficit disorder (EDD).

The emotions of others are uncomfortable

Empathy has three types and one of them is affective, that is, it defines our ability to detect, connect and understand the emotions of others. However, in empathy deficit disorder there is a clear discomfort with the feelings and emotions of others. They annoy, disturb and what is worse, they are misunderstood.

If my partner is sad, I can think that _"it is that he is always the same, what he wants is to attract attention". If my coworker seems upset or angry, I can say to myself " _make it up, his problems are his. " In other words, often behind the lack of empathy there is that border of those who do not want others to end their feeling of calm.

They are focused on their own goals and needs

As striking as it may seem, lack of empathy disorder is common in those who are focused on their personal development. Also in those who are obsessed with the field of self-help. The need to be independent, strong, confident and assertive motivates them to focus on themselves obsessively. I only import myself. Your problems are yours, I have mine. I have goals to meet and that is the most important thing.

We must remember that in this quest for absolute self-sufficiency, what is sometimes achieved is to end up seeing others as antagonists. Empathy grows when we are aware that we are all interconnected, that whoever is in front of me is as important as myself.

They relate in a utilitarian way

Utilitarianism, using and throwing away, being interested only in activities that can give them benefits or worrying exclusively about what concerns them and only them is another feature of this disorder. Something like this causes their relationships to be defined by that liquidity that Zygmunt Bauman told us about. That is, they create very fragile bonds with their partners or friends because they move based on momentary needs and interests.

The same happens with your values, with social or ecological concerns. They are the classic people who say that "climate change does not interest me. What can happen tomorrow with the planet does not concern me because I will already be dead".

Empathy deficit disorder and quickness to judge and criticize

Sometimes we neglect the wonderful role of empathy. It is the gear that allows us to be more cautious before making light judgments. The empathic person knows that before prejudging it is necessary to make an effort to understand, to leave the walls of oneself to connect with what is particular, with what is alien and what belongs to another.

However, someone with empathy deficit disorder is quick to use criticism. It is voracious when it comes to labeling, using prejudice, reproach... These types of people often view the world with great frustration. Because when one is not able to process reality through the filter of emotions and empathy, everything goes out of tune, everything is adverse and does not deserve your trust.

To conclude, far from being able to detect these factors in those around us, let us become aware of one aspect. Sometimes we ourselves fall into one of these dimensions. Let's reflect on it.

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