What infidelity teaches you

21.01.2021
Infidelity is one of the situations that can have the greatest impact on the trajectory of a couple. However, despite its initial destructive nature, it can leave us with valuable lessons for the future.

About 30% of the population claim to have been unfaithful to their partner . This phenomenon, so common, is, in turn, one of the events that ends with more relationships. So today we want to talk about some lessons you can learn from infidelity.

Generally, when this issue is approached, it is assumed that the person who has been deceived will be seriously damaged emotionally, being a seed for mistrust and resentment. Similarly, those who have been unfaithful also go through their own process, usually marked by guilt and remorse. However, these experiences do not have to be the only way. And it is that what is truly relevant is how we decide to face this situation.

What can you learn from infidelity if you are the victim?

Stop perceiving yourself as a victim

First of all, you need to stop perceiving yourself as a victim of the other person's circumstances or actions . It is true that the other has betrayed your trust, but generally infidelity is the manifestation of previous problems in the couple that have not been adequately addressed.

Thus, it is likely that there were certain signs that, had they identified in time, would have allowed the conflict to be resolved or the relationship ended. Keep them in mind for your next love experiences.

On the other hand, remember that infidelity does not speak of your value as a person, but of the emotional state of the person who is unfaithful . This situation has not happened because you are not attractive, smart or funny enough; It is due to the lack of emotional maturity and the lack of assertiveness of those who decide to be unfaithful.

Control does not prevent infidelity

On many occasions (although not always), the person whose partner has been unfaithful had a long history of control , suspicion, restriction and reproach. And yet, he feels that his worst fears have been fulfilled.

Keep in mind, from now on, that controlling the other does not prevent infidelity and, instead, does seriously damage the bond . Build trust in your next relationships.

Try not to lose sight of your values

You can learn from infidelity that the world does not begin or end with another person and that whatever your sentimental situation, try not to lose the reference to your north. Surrendering excessively to the other person or to the relationship can lead us to abandon our hobbies, our friendships or our career , aspects that we will need to hold on to when the relationship ends. Therefore, never abandon yourself to try to keep someone else in your life.

What can you learn from infidelity if you have been unfaithful?

If you find yourself on the other side, there are also valuable lessons you can learn and apply . Pay attention to the following:

  • Communication is essential in the couple. If certain attitudes of the other bother us, if we find ourselves uncomfortable in the relationship, we must have the courage to expose it instead of resorting to this type of harmful behavior.
  • Your actions have consequences. When we commit an infidelity we do not think about how it will affect who our partner is. However, whenever you bond with another you acquire an emotional responsibility with which you have to comply . Your infidelity can cause serious emotional damage to another person that will last even after your relationship is over.
  • Work on your self-esteem. Often times, the fear of being alone prevents us from ending a relationship in which we no longer feel comfortable . So we choose to deceive and harm rather than face our fears. In these cases, it is essential to address our insecurities in order to act in a healthier and more mature way.

Learn from infidelity to build healthier relationships

Living an infidelity can be extremely painful, but it is also a great opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want for the future. We can take what happened as an impulse to work on ourselves, to strengthen ourselves and acquire new ways of facing relationships . The first impact, the one that occurs when we know the news, is inevitable, but from then on, our emotional management skills play a very important role.

We already know what attitudes and behaviors to avoid and we can build on this experience to begin building healthier relationships, free of control and patches and full of effective communication and solutions . Remember that every crisis hides a learning and an opportunity.

When we reason about a problem, we tend to use a simple and useful outline most of the time. This way of thinking is what is known as linear thinking.

In couple relationships there is always a certain degree of commitment and, of course, seeking the company of the person you love. However, some people have an excessive emotional dependence on their partners .