You dislike, outrage or hurt, act

07.06.2020

You have the right to complain when you don't like something, when something hurts or differs with your values ​​and principles. The complaint is not synonymous with illness, behavioral or emotional problems. It is the capacity of the human being to express his affliction or disappointment at a given moment before the events that he sees and that surround him; is being able to say out loud what generates displeasure or disagreement.

Emotional expression has many forms and this is one of them. The only thing is that, on average, people do not usually see favorably those who use the language of the complaint. In some way, we have associated this behavior with those who choose to regret things instead of daring to change them, when, in reality, this is not always the case.

We have to understand something: in the universe of human behavior, diversity is immense and we cannot lightly label who, at any given moment, comes to us with their complaints. Sometimes we need it. There are times when it is necessary to leave what is inside, to release the indignation, the annoyance and even the suffering that life itself generates.

We know that complaining is not the solution to the problems that destiny brings, but sometimes it can be the first step for change, the one that finally dares to transform its reality. It is necessary to know how to manage these situations.

If it hurts or makes you angry, you have the right to complain (and the obligation to act)

The complaint by itself rarely solves something, but even so, as it is said, we let off steam. However, with this act we do much more than release emotions and regrets. Let's think about it, in our society we have legal mechanisms to communicate our complaints to the consumer sector when we acquire something that we are not satisfied with. We also protest against poor services received, for situations in which our rights are violated.

Formalizing this type of communication to the relevant organizations is part of our day to day. However, when someone close to us comes to complain about the bad relationship with his boss or coworkers, we often look down on him. Because they carry their problems, their negative emotions on us instead of solving that situation by themselves and not leaving bad humor and frustration on other people's shoulders.

We forget one aspect and that is that, in reality, the complaint is a useful psychological mechanism. It generates relief, we express negative emotions and thoughts and we mobilize for action. Therefore, sometimes we look for a person from our circle to listen to us, validate our feelings and thus feel a little more reinforced to act before what bothers us.

You have the right to complain: remember that the useful complaint is the one that leads us to action

You have the right to complain and the obligation to act. Because beyond what they have been able to tell you, the complaint is useful as long as it serves as a propeller towards action, as a resource to release emotions and clarify what actions we are going to take. An example, Don Santiago Ramón y Cajal used to say that, often, our brain cells only light up and stretch under the whip of the most complicated and heartbreaking emotions.

In other words, dimensions such as that frustration, that anger or the pain that accompanies complaints, can often serve as drivers for us to think about actions to solve the problem. On the other hand, and as we well know, there are those who allow themselves to be "contaminated", who are trapped by these negative emotions and who limit themselves to feedback on complaints over and over again, leading to a dead-end spiral.

It is then when the brain is captive to the lament, the one that does not see any way out or seeks a solution to the problem. Those same patterns of thought feed over and over again, and the foundations of a depressive disorder can easily germinate. It is something that we must take into account.

Somatic complaints, what you don't say your body suffers

This fact is curious and worth taking into account. In a study carried out at the University of Valencia, doctors Ordóñez and Maganto discovered that many elementary school children suffer from headaches, digestive problems, sleep disturbances ... Many of these disorders fit into what we know as somatic complaints.

They are the effect of adverse situations that occur daily and that children do not know how to express. Those contained emotions, that inability to speak about what bothers, hurts or worries them, ends up internalizing until it leads to these psychophysical problems. Therefore, it is important that we consider a detail.

You have the right to complain and to communicate out loud what outrages you, what hurts others to do, what you are not willing to bear. Many times, and from our childhood, we learn to keep silent about what offends us and something like that takes a sad toll.

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